Priorities
by catherder
Summary: Max and Logan have a conversation about $5,000. What will she tell him?


Author: Catherder Norvell Norvell 2 6 2001-11-10T02:19:00Z 2001-11-10T02:26:00Z 3 1011 5764 48 11 7078 9.2720 

Author: Catherder

Disclaimer: Dark Angel is owned by Charles Eglee, James Cameron, and Fox. I claim no rights to these characters, alas, although I like to play with them.

Summary :  Max has to explain to Logan what she did with the $5,000. A scene the writers didn't let us see.

Spoilers/Timeframe:  Between _Proof of Purchase_ and _Radar Love_

Rated: G

A/N: Great thanks to a fan for reviewing and making excellent suggestions. Reviews are appreciated. Priorities 

"Logan, I _had to do it!" Max protested, huddled on the back of Logan's living room sofa, her hands in her pockets. "Alec is family!"_

Logan closed his eyes and sighed. How many times had he heard that before. "You said _I was family, too. He opened his eyes. "What about me? What about __us?"_

*******

The conversation neither of them wanted to have was taking place in Logan's living room. Max had reluctantly dragged herself over to his place after dismissing Alec and letting the Manticore lab tech go on his way. She had stood outside his door for what seemed an eternity, rehearsing what she was going to tell him about why his $5,000 hadn't gone to pay for her cure of the virus that prevented them from touching, the virus that could kill him. In the end, it came down to family.

Finally, hesitantly, she opened the door and looked around. She saw Logan hunched over his computer, intently scanning the screen. It was late; he was obviously tired – she could tell because he had traded the exoskeleton for the wheelchair. He heard the door open and wheeled around to face her. He smiled and his face lit up. 

"Max," was all he said, rolling toward her. 

Instead of going to him, Max walked into the living room and perched on the back of the sofa, like she often did when something was on her mind. Logan followed her, a puzzled expression on his face. "What's wrong?"

Max wracked her brain. Why had she let that damn lab tech get away? Why hadn't she forcibly kept him in that crappy motel room until he came up with her cure? She could have gotten Alec to help her – especially after what she had done for him. This wasn't like her. What _was wrong?_

She looked into Logan's aquamarine eyes and spouted something about family….

**********

She could tell he was hurt. "What about me? What about _us?" _

"Logan, I don't know. I'm sorry. I had about a minute to make a decision. I couldn't let Alec die. Even after what he tried to do to you. After what he tried to do to _me."_

"What did he try to do to you?"

"He was going to kill me – some sort of threat related to the thingy in his neck—he needed to kill three Xs or it would go off. At the last minute he couldn't do it."

"Well, that's gratifying." Logan's voice dripped with sarcasm. "So, you're all for saving the life of a guy who at best is a sleaze?" The rest of the comment was unspoken, but Max knew what he meant: but not the man you supposedly love. "Well, I haven't got another five grand or another Hockney to sell. So what do we do now?"

"Doesn't matter anyway. The Manticore guy split." Max's eyes were downcast. She couldn't look at Logan.

"He _split? You didn't try to stop him?" Logan was incredulous._

"What could I do?"

"You never had to ask that question before, Max. You just did whatever you had to do. I don't understand what's going on with you." Logan sounded both sad and exasperated. He wheeled himself over to the window. Max heard the angry snap as Logan locked the brakes on his wheelchair.

"I don't either. I just had this feeling that whatever I did, it wouldn't make a difference." Max looked resigned. She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them.  

"It sounds like you wanted to guarantee that it didn't." He stared out the window, always a bad sign. "Do you want to get rid of this virus? Do you want us to be together?"

Max contemplated the floor. She couldn't answer for a few minutes.

"I just want things to be like they were," she finally replied.

"And what exactly does that mean?" He turned away from the window to look at her, his eyes full of longing.

"I want us to be able to touch, to have dinner together without having to worry about me killing you. To be able to play chess…" Her voice trailed off.

"Well, I want more than that." His words cut into her.

For a man who couldn't move from the waist down, Logan had the most eloquent body language Max had ever seen. He sat there in front of her, hands clasped on his knees, his head down. His voice was slow and deliberate, as if he were holding back his emotions. Then he raised his head and stared at her, his aquamarine eyes drilling into her.

"I'm tired of always being noble, of always doing the right thing. Just this once, I wanted something for _me, for __us. Is that so hard to understand?"_

Max shook her head.

Logan continued. "I want to be able to hold you in my arms, to kiss you and stroke your hair, to run my fingers over your lips. My God, I thought you were dead. When I saw you standing there in my living room, everything was all right again. My life began again. Do you know how much this thing is tearing me up?

"And it's not tearing _me up?" Max retorted._

"Apparently not. Since you'd rather spend the money on Alec. What's he ever done for you?" Logan was angry now. The sadness had had been replaced by indignation.

"He helped me escape from Manticore – "

"So he could make sure that you came back to me and killed me with the virus!"

"He _didn't kill me today."_

"I'm sure he had an ulterior motive." Logan's tone was sarcastic.

"He's family," Max said with resignation.

"Well, dammit, so am I! Or so you said, but I guess I'm somewhere down near the bottom of the list of priorities, below all the Manticore types."  Logan snapped the brakes of the wheelchair to unlock them and headed toward the hallway.

"Logan, I thought you'd understand!"

"Well, I don't this time."

"The lab tech gave me all the paperwork he'd done on my DNA and the virus. Maybe I can find another Manticore refugee to help." Max pulled the papers out of her pocket. "Or maybe you know some one…"

Logan wheeled around. His anger spent, he said quietly, "I can give the paperwork to Sebastian. He has all sorts of contacts in the medical and scientific fields. If anyone can solve this problem, he or his people can. If that's what you want."

"Yes, that's what I want."

"Just leave the papers on the coffee table. I'll get them in the morning and send them to Sebastian."

Max got up from the sofa and put the pile of paper on the coffee table. She turned to look at Logan. "Thanks."

"It's okay," he said softly. " I'm very tired. Please go." Logan wheeled back around and continued down the hallway toward his bedroom.

Max walked slowly toward the door. As she opened it, she looked back and saw that Logan still had his back to her. He had not said good-bye.

She left his apartment, closing the door behind her. Then she slid down the wall and sat, her back leaning against his door, her knees to her chin. She began to cry.

THE END 


End file.
